ABOUT THE ALBUM

​

Breathe In, Breathe Out is a collection of music built on human connection. It’s meant to bring us together and to connect us with ourselves. Dreams, physical connection, thoughts becoming reality, hope, curiosity, heartache, and searching are all themes throughout the album.

​

It includes music for 2 pianos, 4 hands, piano duet, and cello/piano as I am joined by Dr. David Potvin on piano, and India Gailey on cello.

 

1. BREATHE IN, BREATHE OUT

(2020) | for 2 pianos, 4 hands

​

At the beginning of 2020 I, like millions of others, was holed up at home with the rug pulled out from under everything. I had huge amounts of artistic energy, anxiety, and drive to do, well, something. This piece is what happened. I wrote it in a few days and recorded it with myself playing both piano parts. At that time, I had no idea that it would be a catalyst to the changes in my life as a musician moving forward.

​

The rest of the music on this album was written after this opening track and it’s all built on top of this foundation. My main goal with this piece was to vent frustration and uncertainty while bringing together the comforting parts of existence. The process of developing this piece also opened the floodgates for my writing for piano, which led to other instruments and larger ensembles. Created in isolation, this piece has stayed with me for years in a very deep way.

​

In two distinct sections, it begins with a drive of overlapping musical ideas which lead from one to the next in relentless waves. Once this reaches a breaking point, the second half builds us back up in a steady rising and building progression.

 

 

RELENTLESS

(2020) | for piano, four hands

2. Relentless, Part 1

3. Relentless, Part 2

4. Relentless, Part 3

 

Riding off of the energy of Breathe In, Breathe Out, this piece draws on a lot of the same emotions and state of mind. It is condensed to one piano here though.

​

Written in response to the relentless chain of events and worldwide challenges in 2020, this piece also reflects the relentlessness of many aspects of life which are challenging in “normal” times and were even more challenging in this upended time: The relentlessness of parenting, of struggles with mental health, of work anxiety, of societal and racial inequality, of uncertainty, of the climate crisis, among an endless list of others.

​

Less obvious at times, but more powerful is the presence of relentless love, humanity, thoughtfulness, kindness, and hope - these are also reflected in this piece.

 

PART 1:

The whole point of this piece was for it to be exploding with energy that just goes and goes. The long sweeping scales that go from top to bottom are passed from one pianist to the other, and it immediately creates a connection between pianists; we’re in this together for better or worse. The challenge recording this piece was to not go too fast. We got wired in the studio and kept going faster and faster, but much of the excitement comes from feeling like it could let loose at any moment, but it doesn’t. I want the listener to feel breathless at the end of this short movement.

​

PART 2:

The energy and movement carry over from Part 1. The feeling of breathlessness should continue throughout this track too. Both pianists play inside the piano and alter the sound of the strings, producing the gently percussive muted sound. There were moments when writing this piece that I was so wound up with anxiety that I fully bashed repeated chords as loudly as I could. Those moments are in this track. This movement also ends by each pianist going down a different path. The momentum dissolves a bit and guides us into the sprawling final part.

​

PART 3:

I occasionally get a musical idea in my head which I cannot get out until I write it down and play it a hundred times. That’s where this track came from and why it is as it is. I find something therapeutic about a repeated and building melody or progression. I think it’s a very natural human feeling to want something repeated and slightly changed or built-upon. I must have played the main core of this movement a thousand times, and it still wanders around in my head from time to time. I hope it helps others feel the same sense of peace it brings me.

 

​

A DREAM [WITHIN A DREAM] (WITHIN A DREAM)

(2021) | for two pianos, four hands

​

5. A Dream

6. [Within a Dream]

7. (Within a Dream)

​

The creation of this piece was as messy as its titling. It initially had the title: A Dream [Within a Dream (Within a Dream)], but that got a bit confusing when splitting it into three. It’s a continuous piece in three parts and within each part, several themes and progressions are repeated, distorted, and layered. The goal was to create an ever-flowing musical thread which takes from the ideas that came before and gives them to the following idea. As in dreams, or indeed in life, distinctions between ideas are difficult to hold down, but at times that doesn’t matter.

​

            A DREAM

            Pulsating rhythms that carry us along are a favourite of mine and I’ve used them again here. I wanted this track to be easy to listen to in that it doesn’t take any work to get in there and understand. You’re welcomed in and carried along, like in a dream. I also wanted to have the two pianos melded so well that we can’t tell which sound is coming from which piano. Almost every musical idea that happens in this movement also comes back in some way later in the piece. The ending of this track leaves us with a gentle space, and it was the single most difficult moment to record on the whole album. The two pianos are so delicately partnered in unison rhythm, and it gently leads us into the organized chaos of the second movement.

​

            [WITHIN A DREAM]

            This is a theme and variations, or a “Dream and Variations” as I David and I so lovingly called it. The main progression which is altered continues going somewhere, but doesn’t seem to go anywhere. There are a couple of melodies which are varied throughout as well, and the overlapping piano ideas energetically collide.

            This movement has the most traditional structure of any track on this album, and it is a nod to my many years of classical training and concert performance. I wanted to take this recognizable form and insert some madness into it.

​

            (WITHIN A DREAM)

            All of the themes, progressions, and rhythmic ideas which came before collide in this brief movement which includes some strumming and playing inside the pianos. By itself this movement might not make a whole lot of sense, but when preceded by the other two, it welcomes the absurdity of all of these ideas jumbled together and drives into the finally of this piece which I have fully bashed on my own piano in frustration. It's even more fun to bash it with someone else.

 

​

​

IMAGINED SHAPES

(2022) | for cello & piano

8.         I. First

9.         II. Inside

10.       III. Beyond

11.       IV. Night

12.       V. Outside

13.       VI. The Close

 

As a kid I had vivid dreams which were sometimes nothing more than changing shapes and abstract images. I have taken that as a sign of my active mind simply not stopping when I go to sleep. I’ve always found it hard to turn my mind off when falling asleep and I suffered from anxiety and insomnia a lot all the way through university. It’s since gotten more manageable, and I’ve found ways to deal with it: lowering stress and anxiety throughout the day, prioritizing, exercising (running), and eating well. Still, I occasionally have a wacky dream of moving shapes which reminds me of those early childhood dreams/nightmares.

 

     I. FIRST

This is all about the beginning of a journey. This track has a lot of heart, and there’s this sweeping, singing connection between the cello and the piano which I can’t get enough of. This is the soundtrack to getting on a boat, starting off on a hike, boarding a train, meeting a special friend, or any other start of a story.

 

     II. INSIDE

I struggle a lot with social anxiety, and I must build myself up to dive into many social situations. Something that has helped me cope with this is treating situations like a game – I just need to talk with these people, eat these snacks, make this joke, and then I will pass this level. Once I’m in any given situation I’m not necessarily actively thinking these things, but my mind plays with these ideas every so often as a way to disconnect from the natural anxiety I feel. This track reflects this game, and is quirky, bright & dark, and takes us on to the next level.

 

     III. BEYOND

Heart-filled pain and longing drive this track. Whether it be heartache or nostalgia-driven memories, the pulsing piano and soaring cello in this piece tap into human yearning. Towards the end, the cello sings, then yells, then roughly distorts like that feeling in the pit of your stomach when things have changed forever.

 

     IV. NIGHT

I am fascinated by stillness, space, and quiet. That may sound strange coming from a musician who makes a lot of sound with other people in close quarters, but it’s true. I am drawn to music which stretches our perception of time and takes us on a long ride through uncharted waters. As you can probably tell, I’m sinking into the journey metaphors throughout this album. This track floats and glides with both a stillness and a pulling thread of movement to guide us from the pain of the previous track into the hopeful optimism of the next.

​

     V. OUTSIDE

Let’s go. I’m a runner, and I’m in a span of my life when I’m training for a marathon every year (2022: NYC). This track runs and comes from my personal need to escape, to get away from everything, and get out on the trail/track/road for hours at a time. Running has helped me immensely to deal with the pressures of being a performing artist, and this piece is me taking you for one of those runs, right to the last stomp.

​

     VI. THE CLOSE

“I open at the close” – I can’t talk about my childhood imagination without mentioning Harry Potter. It is a world which took me away for hours at a time, and each time I revisit the story, I am immediately transported. This track takes musical ideas from “I. First”, moves them around and reorders them. The cello plays in the violin range, so even with this repetitive folky melody, we sense that something is a bit different and more special.

 

 

FIRE + LIGHT

(2022) | for cello & piano

​

Fire + Light is a fleeting, altogether-too-short musical moment which is meant to leave the listener wanting more. Whether they want more of the soaring, sliding cello melody,

or the relentless rhythmic progressions in the piano is up for each to feel for themselves.

The desire is for the ending of this piece to inspire a launch back into the beginning, or a

continuation into another related musical realm.

 

In three distinct sections (“Fire”, “+”, and “Light”), the musical language explores the

flickering of fire, the overwhelming of light, and the magic of darkness being painted and distorted. Dive into the colours and the fire, then dive on in again.